This is part 5 of my Emotional Responsibility (ER) Series. The full series can be found on The Established Man official YouTube here
This lesson may differ from my previous lessons because it gives a glimpse into some of my more personal dealings with both my earthly and heavenly fathers.
As I was giving praise to God for developing my manhood in ways I never imagined, God spoke to me and said, "None of your potions could ever do it." I knew exactly what he meant because his voice is the epitome of revelation. I've come to realize that God does not yell and he most definitely does not repeat himself; his voice is often times piercing to the point of making me flinch. But I digress...
I decided to begin this lesson with a video clip starring CT Fletcher (above) because I believe our gravitation to the world of bodybuilding and weight lifting was motivated by similar childhood experiences. But I would like to give a disclaimer before I expound: God forbid this from being received as parent bashing. I am a proponent to the fact that a parent is a child's first ruler and god on earth. A parent's good and bad should be endured by the child before he or she (the child) can advance to the next level. I am also aware that proverbs 23:13 tells parents that the rod should not be withheld from the child because it will not kill them. I am man enough to admit that I deserved many of those "ass-whoopings," and I am living proof that the rod did not kill me, however, I was a sensitive child who did not respond well to relentless beatings.
In situations where boys feel over-powered they will gravitate to weight lifting as a type of compensation. Weight lifting is the very essence of overpowering an opposing force, and its byproduct - muscles - usually act as armor that shields sensitivities and insecurities. In addition, my dad had already introduced me to the world of calisthenics at the tender age of eight, so, as I grew into my adolescent years I began to naturally fill out more quickly than the other boys my age. But, because my newly defined physique was nothing more than a crutch for my sensitivities and insecurities I never felt big or strong enough, and I felt like I wasn't filling out fast enough. Therefore, I made it a top priority to get my hands on performance enhancing drugs such as testosterone boosters and steroids even though I was barely starting puberty. In my foolish little teenage mind I thought that if I could get closer to my dad's size the beatings would be more bearable or I could even defend myself. I saw steroids as the ultimate equalizer.
Midway through my adolescent years I eventually got my hands on some weak forms of performance enhancing drugs (pro-hormones or synthetic testosterone boosters), and the beatings did stop, but only because my parents resorted to punishments that were more reflective of the real world: sending me to boot-camp, denying my allowance, taking my clothes and other things I valued at the time. Even still, weight lifting grew to be a huge part of my identity, and even though I didn't lift for the same reasons as before, my muscles continued to hide those childhood sensitivities and insecurities...my growth in those areas had been stunted. In my early 20's I would often times handle stressful situations with the same rage I had learned to tap in to while using performance enhancing drugs: roid rage. I was violent, and would use anything as a weapon, even a motor vehicle. Joining the military at the age of 18 only nourished the murderer that was living inside of me, and my now ex-wife felt the blunt force of my emotional instabilities.
When God first got hold of me he gave me the power to fast from food for days, and then those days became weeks. Up until that point I never missed a meal out of fear of losing muscle. At that time, muscle was a crutch for the manhood I severely lacked. If I had lost my muscle before meeting God I would have went back to being that scared, sensitive little boy. The spirit of God empowered me to fast so diligently that I went from 225 pounds of muscle to a mere 155 pounds. God had stripped away my armor, exposed my vulnerabilities before he and I, and then he began to rebuild my manhood in his image. Hallelu-YAHweh!
So, it was the performance enhancing drugs that God referred to as POTIONS. And it all made sense; God never changes, so of course the ancient of days will use ancient terms in reference to things that are new to us. Pharmacy derives from the Greek word, pharmaekia, which means witchcraft. So, those whom we know as pharmacists are nothing more than witches to God. Therefore, the drugs pharmacists concoct in their labs are nothing more than modern day witch covens where they mix various ingredients to conjure up spells and curses.
This revelation led me to a scripture concerning Nimrod's rise to power within the earth (Genesis 8:10). Some translations state that he made himself into a mighty man, which corresponds with the language used to describe the giants or Nephilim of Genesis 6. Ancient artifacts believed to be fashioned after the image and likeness of Nimrod depict him as a giant carrying lions as if they were kittens. However, if Nimrod descended from Noah's son, Ham, whom was not of Nephilim lineage, how did Nimrod become a giant or a mighty man of renown?
HE TOOK AN ANCIENT FORM OF STEROIDS.
The book of Enoch details how the fallen angels cohabited with the daughters of men which gave birth to giants, and then they began to teach humans how to perform magic, witchcraft, abortions, and many other abominations. This is the same witchcraft that caused God to refer to performance enhancing drugs as potions. I believe deep down in my soul that the witches of old, with the assistance of the fallen angels, concocted an ancient steroid like potion that had the ability to transform men into giants. There is nothing new under the sun; they may not be as potent today, but potions can still turn a boy into a mighty man.